This is another rant.
Before I was ill, I was in the higher end of a healthy weight range for my height and build. I wasn't obsessed with my weight all the time. But like most women, I was looking at my post-birth tummy and wishing it was smaller, or the love handles less prominent.
Now that I'm ill, I have lost a lot of weight. I am at the same weight I was when I was 12 years old. I'm trying to eat a lot and gain weight and muscles back so that I can be closer to my regular weight before the next round of Chemotherapy, which will knock down my overall health again.
I look back at my silly thoughts about my mommy tummy and sighed. This illness has been such an eye opener for me. It teaches me what is really important in life - overall good health, contentment with what one already has, family, friends, love, support, compassion for others, kindness, spirituality.
Cancer has knocked down my physical health. But it has raised my emotional and spiritual well-being. I have not known kindness and compassion from my community like this before. I think it has made me mentally a better person. I think I have become a less cynical and selfish person because of cancer.
Crises seem to bring out the best in most people. Human nature, I think!
ReplyDeleteJust returning to say good luck with the weight and muscle building. Being sick is hard enough on the body but I've heard the chemo is another thing altogether. Has your appetite recovered?
DeleteAnd I'm rethinking my previous comment. Human nature can just as often cause people to behave poorly. So I'm glad you have experienced the good side of people, and kudos to you for finding the good in yourself. I'm not sure how I would react; I have a feeling I wouldn't be nearly as positive as you are!
Thanks Jenny! I think I wouldn't be so positive if I had not seen the love and tangible help and support from my friends and family. I feel like I can concentrate on getting well myself because of all that support.
DeleteAnd yes my appetite is great now that I'm out of the hospital! That hospital smell was making me nauseous and not wanting to eat!
DeleteRant away! I too look at my wobbly bits but I am health (touch wood) and reasonably fit so I am very content. I wish you well in your quest for muscle building and hope the appetite is health to help you on your way. Nice to see you have some nice support.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments! Sometimes I think we just need to look more at the big picture than concentrating on little imperfections that we may perceive.
DeleteI am glad you have lots of love and support in your life. I am sure you have helped to create plenty as well. As for your thoughts, I am glad you are finding meaning and purpose within your experience - this helps enormously, as far as your own inner resources are concerned. I do hope you can build some weight reserves - you may need some high energy and nutrient dense supplements but your medical team are the best placed to advise you here. Just a thought...
ReplyDelete